Happy chinese new year and valentine's day...this day suppose to be a fun-filled day for me like how it was last year...spending time bbq-ing and buying ingredients for clique's bbq...where everyone was happy and carefree...no study loads...no partners...when everyone was still having fun and behaving like kids...still remember the mini-games we set up for?this year's valentines' sucks...exams are just round the corner,i need to mug for this festive season...totally no mood to celebrate and have fun with my family members and also the same miserable feeling i had last year...one important person in my life left me one less person who i love left me?don't know why but till now i still can't come to terms with it...it has been 2 years...but it just felt like yesterday...This feeling sucks. Also to add on with that, things can't get any worse when u have no one to turn to...i don't want to turn to my mum because bringing this matter up to her will make her feel bad too and for my dad...he doesn't really cares.The worse part of this valentines is that just when i thought that i had somewhere to turn to...i was WRONG!Its just my own point of view.it just seems that i'm fated to not have anywhere to turn to and not have anyone to listen to me.2010 SUCKS!how can this year get any worse...i need to save myself now...just these months had taught me alot of things.i have grown up too much.the old fun part of me is slowly bidding goodbye to me.i don't want this to happen.someone just help me find back the old me.i miss me.the me that don't care much about my own feelings and go all out to help my friends, the old me who will be happy when i see people around me being happy, the old me who will feel sad but will get over it after eating or sleeping.it's gone...people who are close to me will realise how much i changed since last time...right?especially those who i always talk to and go out with last time.it will be awhile before i find myself back.or maybe never.i'm just too stressed by every negetive things that is happening to me and people around me these days...shall stop here...it's 3+am...ought to get some sleep before i collapse and die on first day of cny